I’m very lucky because I get invited to perform my magic all over the world – but with my rather skewed magician-brain I tend to see a lot of strange sights virtually everywhere I look. I’ve managed to record some of them here and I hope you find them as amusing as I do. Which one’s your favourite?
#1 – A NEW STYLE OF MASSAGE?
I spotted this sign in Bangkok and somehow resisted the urge to go inside…
#2 – DOESN’T EVERYBODY?
These t-shirts were on sale in all the markets in Beijing. But honestly, is there any possible way you’d be caught dead wearing it when you got back home?
#3 – TIMES WERE DIFFERENT THEN…
Back in the 50’s and 60’s he was a very popular clown here in Melbourne… but then, so were Zig and Zag…
#4 – HAPPY ENDINGS & MORE?
Obviously people in Sydney are much more upfront about their services…
#5 – HOW DO THEY KNOW???
This was a sign in an airport in China. Somehow they knew exactly where I was… not only that, there were dozens of these signs throughout the airport so, wherever I went, there I was.
#6 – TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF DOG…
This was at a hot dog shop in the Northland foodcourt… proving that you don’t have to go overseas to taste international delicacies.
#7 – U+KFC?
Sorry if I seem confused… but if you add the letter U to K, F, and C… there’s really only one word they make…
#8 – PUKER
A deck of cards I spotted in a $2 shop. Perhaps this is one of the girls from Miss Puke’s massage parlour?
#9 – VARIED ATTAINMENT MICE
So… a hamster is nothing more than an ambitious mouse apparently…
#10 – PLASTIC SURGERY GONE WRONG
Seriously… if this is the best they can do with a boob job I don’t think they should advertise…
#11 -GOOD ADVICE
Noel Coward said it best, but it’s still good advice worth repeating. Get a good job.
#12 – IT’S BIN FUN…
Ok. So Northland is not the peak of sophistication… McDonald’s may have slides and tunnels but all the Northland KFC can offer is a corner for kids to sit in.
#13 – I’M LOVIN’ IT!
I can’t remember if this was Vanuatu… but this McDonald’s is clearly trying to appeal to the mothers and obviously doing a great job of it too!
#14 – TOO MUCH INFORMATION…
For most people, the aim of a shower curtain is to block the view of other family members….
#15 – IS THIS FOOD FOR DOGS?
I spotted this in the pet food aisle at Coles. I know some dog food contains kangaroo… but kittens?
#16 – HILARIOUS!
There is something full funny about a fresh tasting bath mat…
#17 – HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
Plenty of lame and mellow mirrors, but they had sold out of the cheery and excited mirrors.
#18 – GET AS MANY AS YOU CAN
I saw this sign in a town in country NSW. It must be a Christmas tradition to nab girls up there.
#19 – SMILEY FEET
Slip these in your shoes and your smelly feet become smiley feet!
#20 – NORTHLAND AGAIN…
Ok.. I do love going to the movies at Northland. Once they fixed their “inoprotive” time board, we could go see ‘Fast and Furrios’ and ‘Despickable Me 2’
#21 – FOR BUDGIES?
Well it’s better than that crowded “Can’t budge accommodation”.
#22 – TOUGH STUFF!
The real estate agents don’t mess around in f’n Deer Park!
#23 – Now, with added vegetables!
At Lam Lam’s, where we always eat during The Melbourne Magic Festival. I’ve always wondered what’s in the vegetable soup if you order it without vegetable…
#24 – DAISO HAS EVERYTHING!
Though I’ve never seen anyone hold a joint in one of these before…
#25 – OUT OF ORDER
Trying to order Korean food in a restaurant in Thailand… I can’t expect all the dishes to work properly
#26 – IT SHOULDN’T BE THAT HARD TO FIND
An Indian film screening in Thailand. If you’re looking for love, get lost, just find fanny instead. Love is overrated…
#27 – HE LOVES HIS JOB
This is a sign promoting a local locksmith who is very excited to serve you.
#28 – MASKS WILL BE PROVIDED
This was seriously a conference going on while I was performing in Tasmania. I really wanted to sneak in but they had security guards on the door.
#29 – BADMAN!
They LOVE Superman in Japan! Not so keen on Batman though…
#30 – WHAT?!
This is a sign in the street in Japan. I still have no idea what it says but it looks like it’s promoting a service where black people give white people horsey rides home after a big night.
#31- WHY NOT?
I’m assuming this is nothing more than a nail salon but in Japan you can never be sure…
#32 – ENERGY AUSTRALIA
This is a real bill I received from Energy Australia. The best I can figure is that if I can pay my bill of NOTHING by the due date, I will receive $6.38 in credit I can then apply to my next bill of ZERO DOLLARS…
#33 – PRICES JUST KEEP GOING UP
My local IGA has quality fresh fruit but you do pay a premium… $2.50 per grape is expensive but boy do they taste good.
#34 – WE PREFER “DIFFERENTLY ABLED”
You really have to be extremely agile to use this toilet in Phuket.
#35 – HEAVENLY WANG
This is a sign over a door in Singapore Airport… I really didn’t want to go inside and see what it was all about.
#36 – THE OTHER WHITE COLONEL
In Korea this LSH Fried Pork is actually right next door to a KFC!
#37 – DIFFERENT TASTES
As I traveled through Asia I realised that other cultures don’t see pets the same way we do…