Top 10 Christmas Cracker Jokes!

As some of you know, I make special Christmas Crackers for my family every year. Sometimes they contain quite odd novelties, sometimes just more powerful explosives, but they always have to have some cracking Christmas jokes. Christmas Cracker jokes are not easy to find either. If they are too clever, not everyone can tell them right, if they are too stupid, not everyone will get them. The true sign of success with a good Christmas Cracker joke is the size of the groan it gets at the table.

So here are the TOP TEN groaners… Christmas Cracker jokes… for 2015.


1 – Why were Rudolph and Blitzen left on the shelves over Christmas?

Because they were just two dear.


2 – How does Santa remember which chimneys he’s been down?

He keeps a log.


3 – How many donkeys does it take to change a light bulb?

Donkeys don’t know what a light bulb is, and they’ve got hooves anyway. If you’re going to do one thing this Christmas, for heaven’s sake keep donkeys away from light bulbs.


4 – Where do the showbiz elves go?

Tinsel Town.


5 – What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet.


6 – Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?

He was picking his nose


7 – How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep-pan, crisp and even


8 – Why are Advent Calendars losing their popularity?

Their days are numbered.


9 – How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?

They had a weigh in a manger


10 – What do you call a blind reindeer?

No eye deer.


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